Cannonball Taru
by Asher Tye
Summary: Written in response to one of Bastok's mission. Star Sybil decides to show how dangerous it is to meddle in Windurst's affairs.


Cannonball Taru

By AsherTye

Disclaimer: This is based off of Final Fantasy 11, by Square Enix. I do not own the game ideas or races represented in this story. My views do not in any way represent Square Enix. Please read and review.

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Evaunt Braun sighed as he ripped a chunk of rancid hare meat from the leg he

held in his claws, the oily juices rolling down his beak as he did so. It had been a boring

day, and the Yagudo Initiate was beginning to reconsider his career choices. The only

other intelligent creature he'd come across had been the Goblin Butcher that had sold him

his current meal. A pang of guilt hit the beastman at that thought. This was supposed to

be his Trial of Strength, when all Initiates had to survive living on the Sarutabaruta

without any supplies. Buying one's food was considered against the rules. Silently

Evaunt looked around Starfall Hill, scanning for a suitable victim to test his power

against; a low-level adventurer or wandering minstrel… preferably of the Tarutaru

variety.

Slowly, the Yagudo became aware of a shrill sound that was steadily getting louder. For a brief moment he thought it was some poor creature that had been injured. Eagerly he looked around, hoping to spot the poor individual so he could put it out of its misery. That was when he realized that the sound was not coming from anywhere around him, but rather above him. He looked up just in time to see a small figure flying directly at him from the sky.

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" cried the voice. With the reflexes of a trained warrior, Evaunt leapt out of the way as the body smashed into the ground like a meteor. From where he had landed, Evaunt waited for the dust to clear and saw the small body of a Tarutaru lying on the ground in the center of a large hole, a crystalline shell of energy shimmering to indicate the presence of no less than a Protect V spell. Curious, Evaunt approached. While the airships of Jeuno did take precautions to prevent it, it was not all together impossible for adventurers to fall from the flying boats. Still, the initiate was close enough to Windurst that an airship would have been both visible AND audible, and he hadn't noticed a thing.

Evaunt snapped a stick from the tree at the top of the hill, intending to poke the body and see if the diminutive creature was still alive. Before he could approach, however, the Tarutaru jumped up, shaking his head in excitement.

"THAT WAS SO TOTALLY AWESOME!" he yelled, startling several Mandragoras and a Crawler. Immediately the Tarutaru began to survey the crater he and his protect spell had made, jabbering in excitement using that rhyming, singing language Tarutaru were known for. The little creature was wearing some type or robe that had been tied to his body, but what was most interesting was the rubber cap sitting on his head, covering his hair completely. Finally, the Tarutaru noticed the Yagudo standing nearby. With a huge smile on his face, he bounded over to the birdman. "Did you see thataru? I betty that hole's four feety deep!"

Even a glance could tell Evaunt that this particular adventurer was way too powerful for him to survive a fight with, so the initiate decided to simply play along.

"Uh, yeah, smooth-skin hit… make BIG hole…"

"You better believe itaru… Hey, howy-wowy far do you suppose this spotty is from the Star Tree, I betty this is a new record." Suddenly a distressed look came over the Tarutaru's face. "Oh no! I better getty back before the line gets too long." The Tarutaru turned towards Evaunt. "Hey, do me a favor-wavor, if anyone asks aboutaru the hole, telly them Ben-Gren made it." With a bounce in his step, the Tarutaru dashed off for Windurst. For a few brief moments, Evaunt Braun stood where he was. Then, with a speed that would have rivaled a raptor, the initiate sprinted the other way to Giddeus; where Tarutaru were never fell from the sky.

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Inside Windurst Walls, a line of Tarutaru stretched from the Auction House all the way around to the House of the Hero. Tarutaru of all shapes and sizes waited in the super-long line, chattering excitedly as they did so. Every so often, the sound of gossip was broken by a very loud bang followed by a steadily softening scream of terror and excitement, which was also followed by a round of cheering.

The reason for all this commotion sat at the front of the line where two tarutaru stood next to a massive (for tarutaru anyway) black cannon made of darksteel.

"Okay, make sure you have your money ready-weady when you get to the frontaru," said the first Tarutaru.

"Andy don'taru forget to cancel out all your protective spellys. No one gets to ride withoutaru a brandy new set of protection spells on them," said the second as he cast a Protect V and a Barfire spell on a pretty looking female with two red buns of hair sitting on the sides of her head. The first one handed her a rubber cap to fit over her hair to cut down on wind resistance before she climbed into the opening of the cannon.

"Is there any particular-wicular direction you'd like to be pointed ma'am?"

"Pointy me towards the Times' building please, maybe they'll snappy my picture for the paper," the girl said with a smile. Both of the Tarutaru pushed with all their might to get the cannon into the right position. Once it was properly aimed, (or at least as properly as could be expected given that they had very little idea what they were doing) the white mage lit the fuse and both covered their ears. A thunderous roar and a jet of fire later, and the female was screaming as she flew through the air, her flight answered by a round of applause from the assembled Tarutaru.

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From her vantage point in Heaven's Tower, the Star Sybil watched the proceedings with a mixture of amusement… and the sinking sensations that the other races were right, her people were very weird. She had been a little skeptical anyone would be interested in "Cannon Rides" as Khoro-Boro and his brother Noro-Boro had dubbed them. Still, it looked like they were doing very well, despite the regulations she had given them, for obvious safety reasons.

"Ms. Star Sybil?" came the impatient voice of Melek, Bastok's ambassador to Windurst. The raven-haired Tarutaru wondered why so many ambassadors were always so impatient.

"Yes my dear Melek?"

"What are you going to do about this? That cannon is the property of the nation of Bastok and we demand it be returned to us."

"You keep saying that, and yet you provide no evidence to prove ownership of the cannon beyond your accusation. From what my sources tell me, there are twelve cannons in Bastok. Isn't that the number your country always says it has in those enthralling reports your country always publishes for us?"

"Yes it is, but…"

"And correct me if I'm wrong, but does not one of the provisions in the treaty that exists between Windurst, Sandoria, and Bastok that Bastok is to share all technological advances it makes with its two allies? I have heard nothing of a new cannon design from your countryman, particularly one with such a marvelous amount of accuracy and range."

"Surely you of all people could understand the need for a country under siege to keep secrets," Melek said, a certain uneasiness creeping into his voice.

"Oh I don't doubt it, my dear. Unfortunately, without more evidence there's really not that much I can do."

"Okay, I hate to pull this, but we do have evidence to suggest that that it was Nanaa Mihgo that acquired that cannon, on YOUR orders," the clearly agitated Hume said, setting down a sheet of paper that testified to that effect.

"You arrrre correct, I am the one who took that cannon, but when I came upon it, it was in the hands of the Quadav, and they seemed more that willing to get rrrrrid of it," came the sultry voice of the aforementioned Mithra as she walked into the Star Sybil's audience chamber. "I honestly thought they had made it."

"I had heard the Quadav were building new weapons, so I felt it my duty to remedy the situation before it could be turned on fair Bastok."

"Then why was it not immediately turned over to my nation?"

"Because I was not working forrr the President of Bastok, I was working forrr Star Sybil."

"And your response?" Melek said his impatience amplifying.

"Khoro-Boro and Noro-Boro are Windurst's leading experts on blacksmithing and alchemy. Who else would you have me give it to for study?"

"They're using it to give rides to the other Tarutaru!" Melek screamed. Suddenly he became aware of the fact that he was not in the safest of places to lose his temper at the leader of Windurst as the Mithran guards lifted their spears at him.

"I will admit their methods are somewhat unorthodox, but they do assure me that this is the most effective way to judge its range and accuracy." At this point the Hume grabbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Look, I must tell you, I don't for a second by this cockamamie story of yours."

" rawr Are you inferring that the Star Sybil is lying?" Nanaa Mihgo asked.

"I would never consider…"

"Once we have completed our examination of the cannon, we will of course make everything we know accessible to both Bastok… AND Sandoria. That way, should the 'Quadav' decide to use this cannon, or should it prove an effective deterrent towards beastmen attacks, all the nations can benefit from it. As I'm sure Bastok will when it gets done researching that shield you took from the Yagudo." At these words, Melek visibly paled.

"…"

"I see by your face that you were not expecting me to know about that. It was somewhat foolish to think the Yagudo would not complain about it." With her words, the Star Sybil's face became dark. "You have no idea how hard it was to convince their High Priests that Windurst was not guilty treachery; they very nearly dissolved the treaty we have with them."

"A treaty both Sandoria and Bastok have voiced their objections about time and again."

"According to the terms of our treaty, it is the right of the individual nations to deal with the problems presented by their indigenous beastmen populations as THEY see fit. That is why, though I find your treatment of the Quadav to be reprehensible, I do not intervene on their behalf. The Yagudo are the concern of Windurst, which makes your theft of the shield somewhat disconcerting. What would have occurred, I wonder, had the Yagudo High Priests not accepted my explanation for your actions?"

"Had the Yagudo attempted anything, Bastok and Sandoria would have come to your defense," Melek said, as if this information should have gone without saying.

"I am not the only Windurstian who remembers to just what extent my country suffered during the Crystal Wars. Over a hundred of our most promising mages were slaughtered in that scheme to re-enforce YOUR forces through magic. Sandoria and Bastok turned their backs on us when the Shadow Lord was determined to wipe us all out. Our city was almost annihilated and we were forced into the canals for safety. Even our sacred Star Tree still holds the scars of that war."

"That was more than 20 years ago."

"An army may be regenerated with a single generation, but it takes many to replace scholars," the Star Sybil said, quoting an old Tarutaru proverb. "But let me ask you, what exactly makes that cannon so important?"

"It's new, the first of its kind," Melek said. "Isn't that enough of a reason?"

"Not for Bastok."

"What?"

"Were this a spell or artifact being designed, were this a new alchemical recipe being created, its status as one-of-a-kind would have some bearing, but let us not kid ourselves. Bastok develops no weapons without having several ways to replicate them. No, I think it far more likely that this cannon has not even been reported as missing yet."

"That… That's absurd!"

"You have been warned about raising your voice in the presence of the Star Sybil, Melek," one of the Mithran guards said, brandishing her spear menacingly.

"Oh come now Melek, you and I both know Bastok's bureaucrats would do anything to keep any form of blame from settling on their shoulders. Yet Patt-Pott tells me there has been no uproar over the loss of this cannon. Were the cannon recovery so important, there would be some sign that it was being missed."

"I do not have to be insulted…"

"Of course the only other explanation would be that THIS cannon was never intended to be shared with the other members of the Alliance." Melek's eyes grow pale from the accuracy of the Star Sybil's words.

'That… that…"

"Yes, yes, I know, it is absurd, so you keep saying. And yet every time I offer a different explanation, you deny it even more venomously." Melek stares hard at the Star Sybil, which prompts some rather angry looks from the Mithra.

"You know you cannot keep that cannon forever and maintain good relations with Bastok," Melek said with some finality. It was true, eventually the cannon's disappearance would be "officially" discovered and a real inquiry would be started.

"True enough, which is why I do have a solution to the problem." Without warning, a stack of papers landed between the two of them. "If it were determined that the loss of the shield by the Yagudo were actually a mistake; merely an error in paper work; what would be done about it?"

"Bastok would issue an apology and…"

"No, no, no. I'm not talking about what would happen if someone outside the nation pointed it out to them, I am speaking as though the whole thing were an internal affair for the Bastokan government." Melek took a deep breath, believing he knew the direction this conversation was about to take.

"The individual or group responsible for the mistake would undoubtedly attempt to rectify it with as little publicity as possible. All steps would be taken to return to the status quo without anyone being the wiser."

"Is that Bastokan for 'the shield would be returned and the Yagudo would be persuaded to let go of the whole incident?'"

"Yes," Melek said through gritted teeth.

"Very well," Star Sybil said with a smile as she handed the Hume the stack of papers. "This is the bargain then. Your cannon will be returned without anyone being the wiser. But in return, your government, or at least the parties responsible, will return the Pamama Shield to the Yagudo and convince them to shut up about the entire incident."

"And how are we…"

"My suggestion would be to get them really drunk; they tend to be more amicable then."

"Fine… But I want your word that that cannon will be returned, unscratched and unharmed."

"Of course, of course, you have my word." Melek gathered the papers and left the Star Tree. Once he was gone, Star Sybil turned towards one of her handmaidens. "Send a message to the Yagudo High Priests. Tell them that the situation regarding the shield has been resolved and that they should expect an envoy from Bastok to return the shield to them."

"As you wish my Star Sybil."

"And please tell Khoro-Boro and Noro-Boro, that that cannon is going to be returned so the rides are going to have to stop… give them a day or so to break it to their customers." The handmaiden smiled.

"Of course my Lady."

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"Yes friends it's the ridey-widey that's taking the nation by stormy," said the White Mage Noro-Boro. "Come and join the funny of being a Tarutaru cannonball, only five hundred gil per ride!"

"Yes sir, are you ready to go," said Khoro-Boro as a youthful male walked up and handed over the fee. In answer, the Tarutaru shucked of his clothes to reveal himself to be wearing some sort of form fitting suit made of rubber. It was when he took off his hat that they realized that he was completely bald.

"Point this thing out over Tahrongi Canyon, I'm going for the distance!" the Tarutaru said. After the spells were cast the young tarutaru practically vaulted into the cannon's mouth.

"Okay, we gotaru a live one here," said Khoro-Boro and he and his partner moved the cannon into position amidst the cheering of their countrymen.

The End.


End file.
